“You know, I didn’t just heed what I was taught, men and women should be together, it’s the natural way, that kind of thing.  I’m not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one.  The way the world is – how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just “gets” you – it’s so rare.  My parents didn’t really have it.  There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships.  And to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me.  So I didn’t.”

That’s “Alyssa Jones” (Joey Lauren Adams) explaining to “Holden McNeil” (Ben Affleck) in Kevin Smith’s Chasing Amy the path she took in arriving at her sexual identity.

It’s unlikely her fictional account is representative of society’s thinking but there’s no debating that in today’s America families no longer fit the Leave it to Beaver mold.  No longer is family defined as Mom & Dad, 2.3 kids and a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence.  Today we’re married, unmarried, divorced, separated, cohabitating, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transgendered, having kids out of wedlock, adopting children, etc.

It’s time our laws kept up with the changes.  As of this writing anyone not living on Mapleton Drive or Pine Street is subject to discriminatory treatment when it comes to income taxes, company benefits, estate and gift taxes, health care decisions, inherited IRAs, etc.  Congress institutionalizes this discrimination through legislation such as the Defense of Marriage Act (“DOMA”).

Is this about to change?  In a recent letter from Attorney General Eric H. Holder, Jr. the Obama administration has made clear it will no longer fight constitutional challenges to DOMA.  While the law will remain on the books (and, theoretically, must be enforced until amended, repealed or overturned by the courts) we shouldn’t expect any noise from Washington if this new public stance is any indication.