During a recent conversation with a client (who as CEO of her company often makes public comments – name, however, withheld for confidentiality reasons) she and I proverbially yelled at the kids to stay off our lawns. How?…by bemoaning how honesty has been killed off by political correctness and thinly-veiled attempts at sparing people’s feelings.

She spoke about the seemingly infinite number of times she wanted to be brutally honest about her company’s financial or operational results, the outlook for the industry, etc. but had to temper remarks out of concern for how they’d be perceived.

One example she provided was when she replaced her CFO. “Did I really have to say he’s leaving to pursue other interests? To spend more time with his family? What bullshit. He was ineffective and had to go. Period.”

I replied. “Exactly. It’s OK to say someone’s been fired. It happens. We get it. Give us credit for having functional brains – for being emotionally intelligent. We’re comfortable in our skins. Just give us the facts. We’ll decide what to do and how to feel.”

This truth argument morphed into one of honesty. Our client continued, “You know Howard, we get bankers in here all the time wanting to finance our next deal or whatever. They casually toss in a comment about their bank’s financial planning. I laugh. They toss around statistics and performance. They drop names. They say things like ‘global research’ but in the end they lack what you have. My trust.”

Apologies from Apollo for the shameless plug. It’s a self-serving story to be sure. It speaks, however, to what truly differentiates things in life. Whether it’s a spouse, a friend, the auto mechanic or where you get your financial advice what wins in the end is being honest and trustworthy.

It seems obvious, right? Well it isn’t or at least doesn’t seem so judging by how the financial services industry has circled the wagons over the Department of Labor’s fiduciary standards proposals. The premise was simple – anyone providing advice on pensions and retirement accounts needs to act as a fiduciary. Put another way suitability would no longer be a sufficient standard. Advisors would need to act in the client’s best interest.

The response from big providers such as Fidelity and Merrill Lynch was to lob complaint bombs – contracts would be complicated, liability would increase, investors would have diminished choices, etc.

Where were the voices of reason? Where were the people willing to stand up and say very clearly and honestly, ‘Here’s what we do, here’s how we do it, here’s how we get paid, here are the conflicts of interest…any questions?’

The real value of working with someone isn’t a single piece of advice. It comes from long-lasting relationships built upon honesty, understanding and a genuine sense of wanting clients to achieve their goals. If we want to be trusted we need to give people a reason to trust us.

It’s OK to tell people about chopping down the cherry tree (which, ironically, is myth). They’ll thank us for it. Shame on us if we aren’t willing to be honest and shame on clients who don’t demand it.